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/ Atari Mega Archive 1 / Atari Mega Archive - Volume 1.iso / demos / magie10a.msa / DATA_CSCIENCE.DOC / DATA_CSCIENCE.DOC
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  1. 066010303050000132002006006010000
  2. 11
  3. 21
  4. F0110000001
  5. 9    [◆....◆....◆....◆....◆....◆....◆....◆....◆....◆....◆....◆........]0110
  6. üëCS!
  7. Ç
  8.  
  9. Noteforthehumourimpaired:Thistextisn'tsupposedtobe
  10. readseriously.Itcontainsseverestereotypesand
  11. exaggerations.Ifyou'reoffendedwithit,fuckoffanddie.
  12.  
  13.  
  14. Hellothere!Ifyou,dearreader,areoneofthose
  15. enthusiastichackers,whowantstostudyCS(ComputerScience)in
  16. anuniversity,readthefollowingtextcarefully!Itdescribes
  17. whatyourdreamisreallyallabout.
  18.  
  19. Firstofall,ifyoursocialskillsareonthepatheticside
  20. (andtheyprobablyare,sinceyoucodeallthetime),forget
  21. aboutfindingagirlfriendwhilestudyingCS.You'llbelucky
  22. iffivepercentoffreshmenwillbefemales!Andthosefew
  23. eitheralreadyhaveaboyfriendorareatleastcoyote-ugly
  24. (thatis,whenyouwakeupinthemorningwithacoyote-ugly
  25. girl,andyourarmisstuckunderher,you'llratherchewyour
  26. armoffthanriskwakingher...)
  27.  
  28. Ah,Ihearyousay,youcanfindgirlfriendselsewhere.Sure,
  29. ifyougosomeplaceelse.Butmoreprobablyyou'llgotothe
  30. partiesyourfriends(whoarelikeyou)orolderstudents
  31. arrange.Guesshowmuchgirlsthereare?Thisisprobablywhyso
  32. manyCSstudentswillbealcoholistsinthefuture.(Shit,it's
  33. boringhere.I'dliketodance,butIain'tgonnadancewith
  34. youguysorthatdouble-coyote-uglygirlinthecorner.So
  35. gimmeanotherbeer...btw,double-coyote-uglyisjustlike
  36. coyote-ugly,butyouchewbothofyourarmsoff,soyou'll
  37. neverbeinthesametroubleagain)
  38.  
  39. StillwanttobeaCSstudent?Ok,readon...
  40.  
  41. Let'sskipgirlsnow(maybeyougotoabaranddrinksomuch
  42. thatyougotobedwithatriple-coyote-uglygirl,whichisthe
  43. casewhenyoubiteyourdickoffsoyoudon'teverneverhaveto
  44. fuckheragain)
  45. Ok,nextsubject:computers.Don'twetyourpantswhenyousee
  46. aworkstationorsomebiggermachineforthefirsttime...
  47. Theyreallyaren'tworthit.RememberwhenyouhadaSpeccyor
  48. aC64?WhenyougotitforXmasandplayedwithitcontinuosly
  49. untilthenewyear?Andnowyoucan'tstandthemachine.And
  50. whenyougotyour16-bit?Playedwithituntiltheend
  51. ofJanuary(continuosly),butifyou'renotyetboredwithit,
  52. you'llbesometime.Justwait.Andthat'swhatgoingto
  53. happenwithalltheseUnixboxenandVaxen.Believeme,your
  54. interestincodingdoesn'thaveasnowball'schanceinhellwhen
  55. youhavetowriteCprogramfromscratchandthedeadlineis
  56. approachingfasterthanyouthink.AndCisalanguageyou
  57. canstand,eventhoughyouwouldhavewantedtodoeverything
  58. inassembly.TryLisp.Formostofthepeoplewhohavetakena
  59. Lispcourse,shouting'caddr!'bringstearsintheireyes.The
  60. Çrestaren'thumanbutaliensorrobots.
  61.  
  62. Howaboutyoursparetimethen(assumingyouhaveany)?What
  63. haveyouplannedtodo?Codeinassembly?Forgetit.After
  64. bangingyourheadtothewallwithsomestupidlanguageyou'llbe
  65. sopissedoffwithcomputersthatyou'llneverwanttosee
  66. oneeveragain.(exceptwithaflamethrower)
  67.  
  68. StillwanttobeaCSstudent?Looptothestartoftext...
  69.  
  70. HannuM
  71.  
  72.